Female pleasure is something we don’t talk about and how women orgasm is not something that is often discussed. So here are 5 key things to know about the female orgasm to ensure you or your partner’s needs are being fulfilled!
1. Pay attention to the clitoris!
The clitoris looks like a small bud-like formation and is located above the opening of the vagina, hidden between the upper parts of the labia. (Click here to see where it’s located). When a woman is aroused, the clitoris will swell with stimulation, similar to a penis. The clitoris is also the only human organ that has no other function but to provide pleasure and has thousands of nerve endings, making it very sensitive to touch.
Once the clitoris has been located, there are a number of ways to stimulate it, by using hands, the mouth, or other body parts. Focusing on clitoral stimulation not only helps with arousal, but can result in orgasm.
It’s sad to say that some research reveals that the clitoris often remains untouched during vaginal penetration (which is what some people assume sex is all about) and thus most women don’t experience orgasms with their partner. Understanding the importance of clitoral stimulation is vital for female orgasm, however, let’s not forget that a woman is not limited. The clitoris may be one of the most erotic erogenous zones, but it certainly isn’t the only one.
2. Orgasm and Ejaculation are NOT the same thing.
For men, orgasms and ejaculation usually happen at the same time, which is why it is easier to identify when a man has climaxed. But for most women, it is much more common for orgasms to occur without ejaculation, which is why it should not be used as the only sign of that a woman has climaxes. As a society, we are taught and only learn about climax in terms of ejaculation, not it terms of pleasure. For this reason, most people are unaware of what occurs during a female orgasm.
When a woman is orgasming, the body releasing a buildup in muscular and nerve tension which builds up in the genitals, pelvis, thighs and buttocks. During an orgasm, the uterus, vagina, and anus all contract at the same time in a series of short intervals (resulting in a pulsating feeling). Other muscles in the body, such as the feet or the face can also experience involuntary contractions as well. Therefore, if looking for signs of a female orgasm, be attuned to the contraction of muscle rather than the presence of ejaculate.
3. Almost every woman is capable of an orgasm.
Every woman’s body is different, but nearly all women are capable of orgasm. Because it can take longer for women to orgasm than men and because penetration alone rarely results in orgasm, people assume that women cannot climax. This is untrue. Understanding how the female body works and the parts of it that feel pleasure is vital, to get rid of the idea that women are not as capable as men to orgasm. And it’s not only up to partners, knowing your own pleasure and what turns you on is equally important to help a partner give you pleasure.
4. The brain is the most powerful sexual organ
An orgasm isn’t just a physical sensation. Like many other things, the body and mind are connected when it comes to climaxing too. For example, when a person is stressed, orgasms won’t feel as good or may be more difficult to achieve since the brain is distracted. Women can also get distracted from pleasure because they may feel self-conscious or that they won’t perform well for their partner. That’s why it’s important to have a sexual partner that makes you feel comfortable and builds up sexual self-esteem. How you feel emotionally effects how the body reacts physically.
5. Not all orgasms are equal.
The same woman can have a wide range of orgasms—in fact no two are alike! Sometimes orgasms may feel incredibly powerful. Other times they may feel tiny and inconsequential. In reality, not all orgasms feel equally amazing. This is not necessarily based on gender, but on muscle tone, arousal, type of stimulation and other factors. However, women can not only feel pressured into thinking that all orgasms are meant to by incredible, which is an unrealistic expectation but also might not be receiving the type of stimulation which results in stronger orgasms.
But is possible to make orgasms better—and that’s through experiencing more of them! More experience, through masturbation or time with a partner can help a woman better identify what gives her stronger orgasms such as if a particular position or amount of pressure results is more pleasure.
The bottom line is communication is key, so if you’re looking to make female orgasms a more routine part of your life, talk to your partner!